puns (for educated minds!)

 The pun, or paronomasia, is a form of word play which suggests two or more meanings, by exploiting multiple meanings of words, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference

He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,

but it turned out to be an optical  Aleutian. 

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class,

because it was a weapon of math disruption. 

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.

The police are Looking into it.

Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana. 

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.

One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.' 

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.

Then it hit me. 

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:

'Keep off the Grass.' 

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison

was a Small Medium at Large

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray

is now a seasoned veteran. 

A backward poet writes inverse. 

In a democracy it's your vote that counts.

In feudalism it's your Count that votes. 

When cannibals ate a missionary,

they got a taste of religion. 

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